Hi world,
I've disappeared from you for quite some time, now I'm back :) Life has been hard these few years. Picked up lots, dropped down quite...tides and waves and the sky weren't the same as before.

I'm now in engineering. Got to do what's right for the family and the business...it was dad's efforts after all.
And yeah, I hit a love bug again :) Her name is Tang. Met her a few months ago in a summer camp, we were assigned as coaches in the same team. Have lots of fun and that is when all the sparks happened like magic.

At that moment, I know my past has passed. Its time to start over and you know what, she has the brightest pair of eye I have ever seen. They always says, the eyes are the windows to the soul. I'm in love.
Paradise, every time she closes her eyes.

Got robbed today at Pacific Mall today. Bad luck. I'm un-harmed. Good luck.
Cellphone and cash lost. Bad luck. I.D and bankcard is safe. Good luck.

Back in college, meet with my friends and its kinda relieving. At least I still have a bunch of douchbags buddies. Listening to good ol' 90's music and it feels great as long as you're born in 90's. We're the weirdest mud pie of the century and no one will beat us in the history. We are going to be legend and by the time our great great grandchildren read the history, they will now how great their ancestors are now.

To think from multiple perspectives is an art.
If you can do it, you will have views of different angles.
Its martial, its a fortress, its a skill

One Mistake

Let me fly away leaving memories,
to a place that I know I should be
than knowing so well you're not with me

I should awaken earlier
I thought that we could be together
together we would be miracle
but all you gave me this bunch of trouble
now I cant find a way better

Should I know this ain't true
that I know somehow I will see through
but I can only go for so long
claiming the one that I've love wrong
before too much is enough I woke up
found my love gone.

Let me fly with serenity
away you made me bleed
to a place I will be free

What is in her mind?

Romance.
I am way too naive.
I don't know what to write, I have lots of thoughts.
She is cute and adorable.
I wanna make a step further.
I don't know what to say.
She freaks me hell out of it.
I never talked to her.
But I liked her already.
Shit, I am doomed.
I have no idea what I'm thinking about.
Closer, come closer.
I can hear you, I feel you
Are you feeling the same? Is this true?

or you're just playing tug war?
or maybe you're just having fun?
or maybe you do feel the same, same like I do.

or maybe I think too much? Tell me I'm not.
This is warm.
This is amazing.
I am speechless, I am nervous.
My heart skips a beat and I forgot to breath.
I wonder. How do you?

Tell me, I want to know.
Tell me you feel the same way too.
Tell me that I can make my move now.

While I'm waiting for John Carter to load,
I come across here to say hi :)
Before that, I'd got the mood to scan some old memories so I did :)
Scrolled back through some previous post
realized how childish I was, once
and threw a few glances on those old pictures...how ugly...

I do notice something not very significant but enough to surface
_time has really changed me_
and thanks to my not_very_attractive life, I'm more consistence in surviving.
I really hope that something interesting is gonna strike me

Dreaming is off. Too many things had happened recently.
Relentless endless sleepless nights...What can I say?

Living, you can't run away from problems and it hits like sea waves,
one after another without even giving you a chance to gasp for air.
I keep telling myself to be strong,
I am growing up and that is a good thing, its not that bad after all :)
Time is going to buy me experiences :) Take time.

Here's the interesting part :D hehehe...
I found out an interesting pretty girl on Facebook a few months ago.
She is really gorgeous and we had a few nice chat :)
omg, I'm feeling like 13 again!!! shit you
yeah of course I'm not the lucky one, I haven't met her in real life yet~
That bastard has
c'mon, at least I know this VGYW do exist.

NOTE : FRIEND. NO OTHER INTENTION AT ALL

really hoping to meet such lovely creature and snap a photo of her, smiling ^^
and hoping is just hoping, usually it is not going to work.
I'm not lack of self-esteem, I'm just understanding the fact that
in life, its not always about forcing and pushing forward.

Simple says, I don't consider every pretty girl to be my future girlfriend.
Okay? There is much more to be in concern, even though my besties urge me to have one.
For me, finding one is not like finding a toy or a puppy dog. Its a long-term relationship.
I don't and won't understand what modern-minded people think nowadays,
all I know is I take this thing seriously and prettiness is not the only concern :)

Ram : "When was your last one?"
Me : "That was three years ago."
Ram : "C'mon mate, you know well how to say it. Ya' gettin' dry, find one!!"
Me : "Not in a rush at all ^^ I'm still young."
Ram : "Thats da' point, you are missing the whole fun part"

Mate, fun time is over and we're grown-up now. Its not a game for me any more.

Call me an old hag, call me a conservative, close minded guy
call me an idiot for not having fun by dating random girls
Call me a nerd, a geek, working-maniac or whatever hell it is.

Let me be responsible for my life, my family and my company.
and now I'm going to be responsible by watching John Carter
since I'd load it before writing this Progressing post.
Have a nice day.

Sincerly,
Your most-hated Jake.

Hi + Low = Hilow

Okaiy !
Soooooo oooo... howdy? ahh c'mon...
I know I know!

I'm getting suck in those southern accent ain't mate?
ahahahaha...
Since I'd started full-time schedule on my work few months ago
I seems to have become another person, ya' know what I mean ^^

________A REAL FREAK HEAVY DUTY WORKMAN_______
(you know those with bad temper and dirty hands)

yeah and with smelly shirts and socks

Tired with the office life? I changed to man work!
It was rather hard but its okay after ya' know...uhh...resetting work
I mean resetting my own body for tough work of course. Hahaha :P
Know what? Whole lot more better than staying in an air-conditioning room. Pushing myself to the limit

Dear Momma ask me why work sooooo hard...I say Mom Imma big guy now. Push now or stay frozen.
Dear Sista's remain silent but shown recognition.

Now ya'know who's da' man.

Dear Mutt and Shane, still shaking their tails and love the handsome owner.

Oh yeah! I am 2cm taller NOW!!! Can you believe that?!
and some real muscles too
I start to love ma'life, really.

Wake up in the morning feeling like P.Diddy
Dress up feel like Adam Levine
Walk'in the company feeling like a Boss
Start my daily work like Asimo the robot
Work Dirty like a car mechanic. my favourite part
Lunch without disturbance with fella' workmen, like Soldiers.
End the day tired and fall asleep after dinner

and most of that I found my way to stop thinking of her for real. Man Real
and start to let go and heal. Its hard yeah but it has to be done.
Callimari is over, head-up. I work to be a tough man mate!
She'd killed me twice, it wont happen thrice.

There is always rainbow after rain
There is only rainbow after rain

Better off dead or quitter?

After a year I left this Blog, here I am again.
After 8 months Daddy passed away, here I am again.
After 5 months of the betrayal, here I am again.

And after 2 years, here I am again.
2 years.
I thought we could change, to be better_together
but yes, something does change_ you said you'll love me forever
2 years. I'm still waiting for you to turn back, even I'd never cross your mind.
someone better appeared.

I told myself that if I keep on waiting and be patient, everything is going to be right.
I promised myself_with you
but my faith is dying and each and everyday, I'm praying, not to own you but to have the best for you. And I sill couldn't convince myself that its over.

They say a few drinks will help you to forget her but after one too many I know that I'm never
only they can see where this is going to end
but they all think I'm crazy but to me it's perfect sense

and my mates are all there trying to calm me down because I'm shouting your name all over town
I'm swearing if I go there now
I can change your mind turn it all around.

I don't want her to feel guilt but she said nothing
Oh I wanted words but all I heard was nothing.

Nothing.

Solution

The best way to handle any problem is not-
1) Solve it- because a bigger one is coming.
2) Runaway- and shit will follow from behind.
3) Pretend- another stupid way, because a bigger one will get bigger.

Top 10 Best Ways

1) Sit and talk.
No.2 to No.10 (repeat Best Way No.1)

Because I Feel So

So, I might have made a few mistakes, but that was back when you would smile,
and we would go everywhere.
But we ain't been there for awhile.
And this I know, there's a place that we can go
A place where I can finally let you know.

Here

It wasn't just last night for me to think about you, not just today.
I'm not the one that just loved you lately.
It feels like forever, but it was just a few years backward.
I can't buy that time again right?

I guess it was just another bad day isn't?
When Daniel Powter humming the song, and I was in the bathroom looking at myself
in front of the mirror hoping for a free loop
I know the truth, I am just not him. I am me and never lost, I am just me.

but how if I can make you a better day than before?
How if, right now, I am BETTER than I used to be? A MORE like ME?
Maybe there is a place for this, a place where I can finally make you smile again

Because I'm not the one who just loved you lately

Hanging

She calls me baby, then she won't call me.
Says she adores me and then ignores me.
What's the problem?
She keeps her distance and sits on fences.
Puts up resistance and builds defenses.

First, you say you won't, then you say you will.
You keep me hanging on, and we're not moving on.
We're standing still, You got me on my knees.

Thought

Tomorrow I wake up as Kai Jaet, not as Aladdin anymore.
So, all those past should been left behind,
leaving no traces and sign.
Life is a movie, I'm the actor and I'm the only audience.
At last, after my scene ends, I have to come up for the reality life.
This is Life, I end a story, I start another one :D
but the spirit of making a better life never ends

and so to the search for the True One will continue...

"We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered." :- Tom Stoppard

Who cares? I don't :D

Sometimes I wonder if I am a female, getting bad mood so frequently.
No offense but yeah they do get in mood when "Aunty visit" and hell yeah I'm a straight guy but get temper very easy. That is for certain not good. I am NOT A GIRL.

C'mon, Jake is known as a gentleman :D Who is able to see him in his worst condition??
hahahahaha...who cares anyway, no one wants to see that.
and most important thing is I know its not worth getting angry,
because some people are just not worth for us to think for, agree?

But sometimes it really heats me up to the peak, leaving no space to breath,
and at last I will explode like a supernova. Leaving a black hole with nothing inside and oh then everything is fine. Yes, today I'm recovering and I will get better. I don't want to hear any words and definitely praying that no one will come and mess with me at this time. *praying. You know why.

So have a pleasant night ladies and gentlemen. That's all from Sunny Rain.

END

Not feeling good

Sometimes, what we see, the appearance is just the surface__and we don't see whats beneath.
And sometimes, we think that it is but actually its not__those hidden lies we thought its true.

My life is a story of too much conflict : I am not sure of everything even though how hard I'd tried to figure it out. Yes, I'm capable of doing many things and get things done with lots of ways but...almost all the time, my success were just coincidences.

Its not about I'm lack of self confidence. Deep here inside I know, its just pure bad luck. For example, look at me right now. I might look good, but who knows I don't? Yes, relationship problems again.

Walls, separate us. Thoughts, confusing me. Fear, of losing you. Jealousy, strikes me from nowhere. Complications, made us even far from each other.
I don't know where I get this jealousy sense from. I don't know why, I was not born with that. I don't know what I was jealous about. Do you even care?

Why let me walk alone when I can take you home?
I'm just sitting right here wondering if you even care?

Maybe, from the start, I should not put too much hope.
Maybe, its just not right and I'm not capable of giving commitment.
Maybe, I was just wrong and you're not my open road but a sloppy slope for a car run out of gas like me.

Maybe, and there are always maybe.
Maybe, I'm just not strong enough.


END

You'll be in My heart

I was driving to the park this evening and thinking about what teacher said today.
There is going to be elimination in the drama team and honestly I can't cope with a new character. I'd spent too much time to build-up that feel and it cannot be easily replaced. Someone's problem had became my problem now. I don't wanna waste more time to develop feel with someone else, and most important is I...well. Done with that.

I hope for the best and pray for the rest

the radio played a familiar song that I once loved to sing, and now yes I still love this song. You'll be in my heart by Phil Collins. And I think I would sing this song for someone and that will definitely be you.

Come, stop your crying, it will be all right
Just take my hand, hold it tight
I will protect you from, all around you
I will be here, don't you cry

For one so small, you seem so strong
My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm
This bond between us, can't be broken
I will be here, don't you cry

Because you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on, now and forever more
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always

Why can't they understand the way we feel?
They just don't trust, what they can't explain
I know we're different but, deep inside us
We're not that different at all

Don't listen to them, because what do they know?
We need each other, to have, to hold
They'll see in time, I know
When destiny calls you, you must be strong
I may not be with you, but you've got to hold on
They'll see in time, I know, we'll show them together

Always, I'll be with you
I'll be there for you, always, always and always
Just look over your shoulder
I'll be there, always

Something to share today

1) Today I met a friend on my way home, stop at the cafe and had coffee. We chat a lot, about guys thing of course and I'm going to share a part of that conversation.
So he let me know that he is currently having a crush on this girl and after a long haul finally, he get the chance to ask her out for a casual date. First date.

To ensure my friend's privacy and safety, lets use G as his name. So my friend G, he was struggling with himself. About what? He has asked a question that I think most of us will ask

What brand should I wear on this special date?

Well my opinion is, you don't need to be branded to impress someone.
Why? because he/she is not interested with what brand that you're wearing.
if he/she does, then its not worth dating with such person, logic?

Think from a different angle, the other side. Its not what you're wearing, its all about what you carry inside, the moment you step in the crowd and create a mood.
Just like wearing a crown in a crowd__to be special and all the attention is focusing on you. Why worry about what you're going to wear for a date? There is nothing to worry about actually. Your opponent agrees for a date because he/she likes you the way you are!NOTE Like is NOT LOVE, don't get fuss or confused.

Be comfortable with yourself and believe me, without you realizing you're actually boosting your self-confidence, and that is what we all like about. In this way, you'll make your partner get In-Love with you, this is it? Yes. This chemistry is easy but lots of us screwed-up because of some.....fake facts.

Its important to love ourselves first, before we start loving someone else :D

Its me in Life

I am that kind who don't talk much
I sing a lot to express my feelings
I write stories and put them in a bottle
I am that kind who shout on the hill when I get mad

Why didn't I talk much? _ because I don't think that is necessary.
Why I sing to express? _ because songs come in a full package of feelings.
Why I write stories and in a bottle? _ because I don't think I'm going to read it.
Why I shout on hill? _ because no one will hear me and it feels good up there.

Why would I wrote all these?
because I'm expressing my thoughts. I might not be friendly, or kind, or charming.
This is what defines me.
I don't have to be like someone else, I don't need to.

I live as ME.

Our Eyes

You seem so afraid, afraid you’ll regret
Regret getting closer and connected to me
And I feel like that too but I’m scared
Scared you’ll leave while you still feel you can
So I’ll just wait and see and see

Let our eyes say words we’ll leave unspoken
When we're trying to be careful
And words can be so confusing
When we're trying to be careful
But not too careful...

Fear, it has its place folded in squares
Squarely tucked in the back pocket of our minds
And yes, it’s reckless to act but pointless to decide
Just let your world collide with mine

So lets not wait and see
Let our eyes say words we’ll leave unspoken
When we're trying to be careful
And words can be so confusing
When we're trying to be careful
But not too careful...

Her eye have something belongs to me.

Do you really care that much for me?

Sometimes, opportunity comes real fast and strike you without giving you a chance to think.
and at the time you're not sure are you doing the right thing, it slaps again giving you no chance to react more than with a few nanoseconds

Exactly, like you've just being hit by a falling airplane

I told her today, without thinking much and yes, it does gave me a thrill for saying that.
Who knows? No one. At that time I looked straight into her eyes to find the feel that I want, wondering if it was there. Yes, it is there still, untouched. I told her everything I feel and she just smiled, no other response and I knew, I'd got the answer. I know, its there! Its unusual.

Well, all feelings aside. I'm sure I like her for no reason and I'm ready to give commitment.
Why would I said that? because last night, I'd put 36 fullstops to all my casual relationships.
Nothing to brag about that, I did it.

Yes you've heard me, 36 casual relationships ENDED last night

This shows that, I'm ready to be serious. I mean no stress on her, but for sure this is not a play anymore. No stress, please.

Just let it flows like a river, a river of Pure You.

This one is for you, Yes you're reading this.

"Sometimes you just feel so...traped "

I don't know if this is right, I have lost my sense of judge.
Yes, It does feels good when coming to that part,

Looking into her eyes..

and we both turn around... and that moment... the whole world

just doesn't seems matters anymore...

Its just feels so...right and...I was like, singing a lullaby,
like I was born again, like I was a new breath and... like the wing of an albatross, gliding through the air, not afraid of falling down because I know, I know that I'm a bird piloting the wind and drive me through the cloud. I like the way you make me feel.

When I'm with you, I'm like a rocketeer, I feel my steps floating.
You'd make me so nervous and I've tried to hide and suppress anything that shows.

Trigger, you'd push me beyond limits...like a gun unleashes a bullet and let it flies.

I have fallen for you, I'm sorry I know I shouldn't but yes I just did.
I'm not desperate, I'm just expressing my thoughts

"I love you too"

Now, I can say it by looking into your eyes. Now that I see you.


END

What is 16 May means to ME

Ok, today we are going to share about
Teacher's Day.

We all know its on 16 May each and every year,
and it wont change (except for the way how we celebrate today)
Am I right? So, what do you think?

Greeted your beloved teacher?
Have you send something to show that you care?
or a simple call like "How are you teacher? Happy Teachers Day !"
or
at least a simple message asking "how do you do?"

For me （I dont mean to be offensive) Teachers Day every year carry a different meaning. Now, its the real thing I want to share ;

Back to year 2009,

(Head start)
It was the time in the Malacca trip. Ok, everyone enjoyed the time. Skip that part, fast forward x4. I get to interact with some people. Realize I'd got a chance to get closer. Everything gone fine.

(Opening)
At the school, I get to know that she was fancy about me. Happiest day. She had noticed my existence. I know it wasn't true, its just a game that everyone play. Possibilities keeps walking in on me. I waited for the time I could get in.

(Climax) 16 May 2009
My confession took place that day.

It was Teachers Day
It was the day, I surrender my soul.
It was the day I gave out the best in me, even I didn't appear to be so.
It was the day I took out my greatest courage to say " I LIKE YOU "
It was the day I lie to myself that I like you, the fact is, my feel for you is already more than that.

Its the day when I'd devoted the whole world to one girl_its you.
Every 16 May now and then, its not Teacher's Day anymore, it'd already been more.
There are no words to define. Every year today, its all coming back to me.

I hope you find what you'd been looking for.
because I'm the one that Love you lately

This is my 16 May

END

Reflect

I don't care that much actually,
like I use to be..always confident with myself and focus only to something I deserve and something that deserves me.
This is Life of Sunny Rain, never, ever look on the floor.

I don't think that there is something wrong about that.
Care what of you say? I care what do I say and will say.

No more personal feeling towards you,
I'll make it professional because it will be just an act.

Sort of, and I won't give you more,
even if you probably will ask and you better don't
because I want to keep a little bit of dignity for you.

and don't make me regret for doing so...lets be professional.